When things don’t work out, it’s normal to want to give up and forget about it. These 9 things can make you feel defeated, but they don’t have to!
Feeling defeated is a part of the human condition. There are many times in life when I feel defeated. It happens about once a day. Like yesterday, I wanted to do something simple. Since we live in the south, it is already 90 degrees plus. I wanted to put blinds on some windows. Easy enough, right? Apparently not.
If I had to imagine what the hell it was, to me it would be me sitting in a room putting together “assembly furniture” and toys. The irony: I have six children and have been doing it for over twenty years.
However, after ten minutes of trying, I cried frustrated tears, threw something in, and went out to take a shower. I was super defeated that something as simple as a couple of screws could bring me down.
We all feel defeated at times
Many of us feel like we’re the only ones feeling defeated. The fact is, there is no one among us, not even Chad Thundercock, who does not want, despite their best efforts, that they will never get where or what they want.
Defeat means that you give something to your everything, and you don’t get your goal. This is a very difficult thing to accept. If you feel that it is not just a goal that you cannot achieve, but a series of them, it makes you feel stuck. If you don’t think anything good is going to happen, no matter how hard you try, you may be stuck in a state of defeat.
9 ways to overcome the feeling of defeat
Life is like a marathon. You can’t just stop in the middle and lie down. You simply can’t. You will be trampled, the police will tell you to move and eventually, you will have to do something.
I will not lie to you, you may be defeated more than you can imagine. If you stop trying, you will be defeated forever. That old saying, “It’s better to die trying than never trying at all,” is absolutely real.
There are many times in life where people have told me “you are that strong”, but the truth is, we have no choice. We are given what we are given. Either we pull together, break free and try again, or we get defeated. I, for example, refuse to believe that you want to get stuck or that you are ready to give up. If you were, you wouldn’t be reading this.
# 1 Achieve more realistic goals
Sometimes you start to feel defeated because you set goals that are too high and unrealistic. There is nothing wrong with setting high expectations unless you set them so high that they are not achievable.
So set a scenario for a self-fulfilling prophecy of never being able to achieve your goals. If you feel defeated, try to readjust your goals and your idea of success. Maybe you try too hard.
# 2 Reward yourself
If you never recognize a good job done, you start to feel defeated. Sometimes it is important to look on the bright side. Pat yourself on the back for things that went well.
Sure, you may not have done exactly what you intended to do, but you did some things right. It is important to recognize those smaller parts that you may overlook.
# 3 Recognizing that EVERYONE fails is a part of learning
Everyone fails everyone. This is the only way we learn lessons and grow. If you’ve never failed, you wouldn’t learn how to do things right. If you feel like you are alone in the boat of defeat, know that we ALL feel defeated at times in life. It is natural and it is human.
# 4 Try, try, try again
When you feel defeated, the hardest thing to do is to recover and try again, but that’s exactly what you need to do. Determination is the key to overcoming the feeling of defeat.
If at first, you don’t succeed, try, try, try, try again. If you can’t do this, it’s time to readjust your goals to find the ones that are a more realistic and best fit for you.
# 5 Ask for help
Part of setting unrealistic goals means never stopping for help when you need it. We have all been put on earth to survive together. It’s hard to ask for help when you want to do something yourself.
But, sometimes to get results, we should reach out to others. This doesn’t mean you failed or couldn’t do it yourself, it means you were smart and brave enough to get help from those around you instead of banging your head against the wall when help was available.
# 6 Analyze the history
Do you feel defeated often? If you have a general feeling of defeat, it could be that you have a negative outlook on life. Some of us have a tendency to dwell on things that are not right instead of seeing the things we have for ourselves.
If you are the half-empty type, then consider changing your attitude to change your feelings of defeat. After all, the only one who makes you feel defeated is you. Learn to let it go.
# 7 Have an overall plan
If you can’t achieve your goals, then maybe it’s a problem not to have a plan. If you don’t have a plan to get where you want to be, how do you know where you are going?
Better yet, if you don’t have a plan for your goals, how do you know when you got there? If you feel like you can’t do anything right or fail all the time, maybe you jump into situations without preparation. Take the time to step back, look at a situation and prepare a preemptive strike instead of striking.
# 8 Stop comparing yourself to others
Feeling defeated comes from never feeling like you get what you want. This sometimes comes from comparing oneself to others. If you look around and it seems like everyone else is where they want to be, and you’re not even close, then you’re not looking at things correctly.
Don’t evaluate your successes by comparing yourself to someone else. The only way to grow and mature is to do better than last time instead of worrying about always beating someone else. You are just competing with yourself. The grass is always greener.
What is the definition of madness? Always do the same thing and expect a different result. If you feel defeated, it’s time to shift gears and do something else. It makes no sense to keep trying to do something that doesn’t work. If you don’t want to fail, stop doing the things that prompted you to do it.
The good news, whatever makes you feel defeated, will soon pass. You just have to overcome this obstacle and move on to the next.